path to awakening |

The Dance of Emergence – A Journey to Waking Up

Posted on July 26, 2011 by thirdspacechronicles

If you ask…

Some pretty inexplicable things have happened as a result of ‘asking’ lately. At the beginning of this year I asked for a shift to occur in the general direction things had been taking. I sincerely wanted change and wanted a new perspective. I was looking for proof that I could be my own leader, that I could successfully undertake a direction that personally resonated -that I was not condemned to following others’ opinions of appropriate life choices.

The surprise initiation of my request began with being accepted to write for an online spiritual magazine. Then came the fun of editing and writing for said magazine and the thrill of doing something I loved. Others had often said I was a good writer but through the filter of my own self-doubt, the message was fleeting and distorted. This experience started the shift……I was inspired by the feedback that seemed to be pointing to growth, expansion and the self-leadership I had requested…..

I began to ask for focus and creativity during my meditations in support of this new direction…

‘dosado’ to the next step and the next and the next….

The latest event in this parade has delivered an online copywriting class to my door – something I had often condemned as the ‘snake oil salesman’ approach that no one in their right mind would ever adopt as a profession. Irrespective of this bias, ‘something’ propelled me to sign up anyway. I would find a way to get around my personal objections. My 2011 experiences so far had helped create a little flexibility, fluidity and trust in the impulses that felt like directive shoves by some unseen hand.

This copywriting course has been a love/hate relationship. I notice I get pumped at the possibility that “Yes, I can do this! I love this! Yes, this is my path!” This pendulums back toward moments of being dashed against the obstacles of fear and doubt about the potential to excel, the shadow of wasted time and effort with nothing to show for it and no way to put my unique stamp on an industry whose underlying philosophy is not in alignment with my values. Hitting these blocks feels like running feet hitting quicksand and mud – suddenly all the momentum disappears and everything come to a screeching halt.

There is a pattern to this process –

The humanity in us creates these obstacles that stop us. However, looking more deeply, it becomes clear that their purpose is signalling the need to break down and identify WHAT stops us. Every time we are stopped by a perceived wall in front of our progression, we are called to discover the wisdom and power that are underneath. In the case of the copywriting gig, I am called to grow my confidence and develop the leadership focus I requested. In the encounter with blocks, we are invited to step outside the paradigm of constriction and accept the reality of limitless possibility. Our awakened soul knows this and is anxiously awaiting to show us how to just dives into the experience and relish all of it. It sees no experience as any different from another – its all about expansion which is its authentic mission.

What has this to do with Waking Up?

I asked to know how all the divergent pieces of my experience fit together, to be shown the next steps, to have focus and creativity at the fore of my life….and… pretty much everything has conspired to show me the way!

This year has been a series of steps toward something that is vague at the moment but feels like it is taking shape ahead. All this writing stuff – encouragements along the way from unsolicited sources -doubts and fears surmounted -power recovered -focus growing. Life in its mystical unfolding and its glorious perfection demands only a conviction that every obstacle cleared is recovering love under the fear and doubt and moving closer to awakening. We have that capacity……and that desire

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The Dance of Emergence

I am getting the hang of this …. starting to surf the wave rather than dog-paddle through it. The dog-paddle moments are just as visceral as always but they are shorter. It is the dance of emergence : – poke your head out then draw it back to the familiar and the secure. Poke out again and take a deep breath of the sweet air and realize how invigorating it is. Back under into the old doubts that create obstacles to maintain that mundane, secure prison. Then choosing to body surf the wave again – feeling the immense power that lifts me up – beyond exhilarating. This newly forged freedom from doubt and fear is what suddenly feels real and true. Less in the undertow and more on top of the wave – learning to clear the obstacles with the adeptness of an Olympic athlete.

The latest in this growth? ……an unsolicited invitation to do a show on VoiceAmerica radio – who knew where this came from? Actually I do know. I requested this by asking the questions and expecting the answers – like every other experience and event of my entire life.

The dog-paddler would see it as ‘how is this VoiceAmerica invitation trying to get my money’ or ‘ this must be a mistake – can’t be me they are sending this to’ or ‘what’s the catch? ” The surfer can marvel at the magnificent horizon of which this invitation is a part. No matter what it is about, it is put there by me and for my own awakening – I am my own greatest creator – no exceptions – period – full speed ahead.

Ask for what you want to create and allow the obstacles to free you-

What is in the way, IS the way…. to awakening

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