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Self-less Giving – A Story of the Heart

As we approach Thanksgiving, the sentiments of giving and gratitude cycle into awareness.

Here is a story to inspire your week and bring home the simple art of conscious regard for all in your life


feel free to share with as many people as you can and allow the sweetness of this experience into your being



Lest We Forget Who We Truly Are – A Reminder ‘NearDeathExperience’

Here is an inspiring reminder of the truth of who we  are  beyond our physical existence:


enjoy – it is worth the read!


The Fairy Godmother does not live at the White House!

When I was in the second grade, my family moved from a small town to a larger city . Of course, this meant leaving familiar surroundings and embracing a new home, school and friends which, for a 7 year old was a lot of change. The ‘new’ school was ‘new’ only to me. Its dingy gray exterior and boxy construction presented an aged, uninviting vision that left an unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach and did nothing to generate enthusiasm or inspiration.  I arrived my first day at the new edifice of learning after a long walk of 2 miles to get there and immediately felt unhappy, vulnerable and alone. Soon after this new twist in my life against which I railed, I began to create fantasies of the heroes from my favorite TV show, Whirlybirds, landing in the schoolyard with their Bell 47 helicopter to rescue me. I envisioned the surprise and envy on the faces of my fellow ‘inmates’ as I was swooped up to freedom by my rescuers and whisked away to a place where everything I could ever want was available at my mere asking for it. I felt with delicious joy the feeling of being so special as to be chosen by them to be taken into their care and custody. Every time I ran that movie in my imagination, secure, happy, at peace feelings flooded my otherwise tortured and powerless existence. Truth is, as I, the 7 yr old, discovered – nobody  was coming to save me and all the magical thinking in the world would not shift my sense of insecurity or change my circumstances. Whirlybirds’ pilots were actors and there was no chance in hell that my fairy tale would ever materialize – but it never stopped me from day-dreaming about the possibility.

Like my 7 yr old imaginings, it occurred to me that, as individuals in today’s troubled America, we are looking to someone else to satisfy our needs and longings and save us from our untenable life situations. We seem to be incapable of seeing life as within our power to do something about.  Instead, we unconsciously give away our power to others and expect them to provide the external life circumstances that create a sense of safety and well-being for us.  Case in point – the proclamations of portions of the populace that we didn’t get the change we were looking for. A mere 18 months into this current presidency there is an outcry from the disenfranchised  to change yet again, the flavor of the Washington DC government. It seems as if our collective ‘wanting, wishing or fear-driven child’ personae has been ignited and the satisfaction and successes must be both immediate, complete and individually recognizable….NOW!   The external source of this indulgence is partially manipulated from those out of power. More importantly, the inner cause, as we know from Voice Dialogue,  comes from the voice of our repressed child parts.  The imperative for a more balanced existence invites us to wise up to this aspect of us, and quiet the mechanism that operates in opposition to our ability to accept personal responsibility for our emotional, mental and physical well-being.  but, how can this be done when the pervasive sentiment teaches us to be afraid and to feel vulnerable?

First discover the cause – How did we get here? It’s an inside job!!!!

Our view of the world is formed from the inside out not the other way around.  From our early years of life when uncomfortable or abusive things happened to us such as starting kindergarten or Sunday school, watching Mom and Dad argue, experiencing illness or other tragic events in our families, struggling to garner love in a dysfunctional home environment,  we made crazy meaning of what was happening to us so we could feel safe and assure our survival. At that tender age, we had few sophisticated tools to use and it often came down to the silencing  our intuitive emotional reactions  in order to stay safe and feel loved. Doing the bidding of the adults in our life no matter how much it went against what our authenticity wanted to do seemed the only pathway to security. Sadly,  those suppressive behaviors  became our conditioned response to acceptable actions – a belief that we carry unconsciously into our adulthood.

As adults, when we operate from those emotional 7 yr old selves – wishing for rescue, silenced in our authentic desires – we tend to develop parent-child relationships with our spouses, friends, bosses and government that  divest us of the responsibility to make conscious choices and decisions for our life circumstances. Instead, we play the blame game – it is someone else’s fault and they need to fix what they did to us. Think about today’s political atmosphere – frightened, people find their power in anger and blame.  It is as if the expectation is that the Fairy Godmother must scatter fairy dust over the country and make everything all better! and return things as they were.  Of course, the head Godmother lives at the White House – we elected him to take care of us exactly as we want!…we get our old jobs back, get our homes back so we can continue to live as we have…

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A link for more information about The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process

Here is the link to  David Berceli, PhD

We highly recommend checking this out. Another source of great information about this and other consciousness tools is the Namaste Publishing website

feel free to browse the many other offerings that the Namaste Publishing community has to share…it is well worth the time!

Our Bodies Speak The Pain of Trauma – A National and Personal Crisis

….so many people were in pain that their numbers were greater than the capacity of a world class medical facility like Mayo Clinic

I called yesterday to get some information and make an appointment at Mayo Clinic for Terry. The temporary measures we had chosen to abate  chronic pain issues were working but not addressing the source of the problem. It was clear that we could not continue in this interim existence without some causal resolutions to recovery.  To my absolute astonishment and shock, I was told that Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota was not accepting any new patients in their Pain Management/Rheumatology department because they were overwhelmed and could barely keep up with the patients they already were serving!  Really? Mayo Clinic was no longer accepting anyone who presented with arthritic symptoms and pain?     Stunning!

As I hung up the phone with the apology of the receptionist still ringing in my ears, I pondered the import of this revelation…so many people were in pain/arthritic conditions that their numbers were greater than a world class medical facility could handle….it was cold comfort to realize at least we weren’t the only ones in need of healing. The seeming epidemic proportions of this dis-ease started a cascade of awareness and questions.  A quick Google search of statistics on pain confirmed my personal experience at Mayo Clinic:

It is estimated by National Health Statistics that 76.2 million Americans suffer from pain maladies.

This  exceeds the incidences of heart disease, diabetes and cancer combined!

What was going on in America that might be manifesting  this flood of pain and arthritis? From a metaphysical perspective, it would suggest some  inability to move freely or being frozen with ? fear? such that motion is inhibited or halted….not beyond the realm of possibility given the national condition these days… but, is there more to this? what could be at the core of the stats that show such a nation-wide malaise? ……

Pain is the Body’s Message about Stored Trauma Continue reading

Our Wedding Day – At play in Quantum Reality

Our Wedding Celebration

Despite my daily protests, Terry was adamant that we follow through on our planned wedding celebration. The day dawned with me ambivalently poised between excitement about our wedding and trepidation about Terry’s ability to navigate the schedule of events and remain upright.   A few previous days of experiment with Aleve had provided him relief from the debilitating pain that had been his constant reality for the past three weeks. This offered some confidence that the same regimen the day of our wedding would provide a similar effect. With that bit of ‘ammo’, we both fully entered into the spirit of the day.


Preparations for the afternoon ceremony began with picking up flower arrangements, decorating the chapel, keeping a make-up application appointment,  and, finally, donning our official ‘wedding clothes’. With each step,  we drew closer to the joy that sat patiently waiting to be released….a joy that had been the foundation of our love and connection from the first day we met. It was the innocent mirth that children possess – happiness that just bubbles up from nowhere and delights in all that life has to offer.

The Ceremony and Celebration – Alternate Universe Experience

As we looked at each other in our transformed selves….it was as if we were transported into an alternate  universe….carried  in a flow of  powerful energy  and  a most unshakeable gift of pure peace.  The  message of universal intention and certainty that we were meant to be together was clear.   As the wedding ceremony  began…the friends who gathered with us readily participated  in the indescribable magic of presence, joy, gratitude and the excitement of bearing witness to a long journey having reached a glorious conclusion. As I stood there engaged in the ceremony, I was conscious that I was standing between layers of reality – aware of the journey to this moment, reliving past events in minute snippets, aware of the destiny and complex soul guidance that lead us to each other and this moment, aware of us all as a wavy presence of energy flashing every color of the spectrum, aware of the actual physical celebration masterfully guided by our friend and mentor, J. Tamar Stone -the words, the symbolism, the meaning in the actions. There was not a sense of time passing. There was a pervasive, palpable knowing of an unconditionally loving presence. It was as if a door opened and we were flooded with love that we could neither describe or quantify but we all felt  and simply immersed ourselves in its delicious enfoldment.  We were heart centered and held in that space, suspended in time and fully awake to the world we had entered…we were fully in the moment and magically embedded in the timeless truth of who we truly are… children of God at play as creators of love and perfection and superlative joy.

Our photographer and friend, Piper Ferguson , masterfully captured the essence of the blessed event with a collection of memorable photos that we visit often which reignites the palpable  joy into which we were immersed. In those photos, the moments of peak joy are evident.

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Expectation, Disappointment, Aikido Mind and A Voice Dialogue Moment

Enlightenment must come little by little – otherwise it would overwhelm

Enlightenment is not imagining figures of light but making the darkness conscious –
Carl Jung

Just when it seemed like everything had finally found its upright position and life was with wheels again, one of them fell off and things appeared to come to a screeching halt.  If you have been following our posts,  you might recall that life had thrown a wellness challenge at us last year (see When Change Comes Calling post – https://thirdspacechronicles.com/2009/10/13/when-change-comes-calling/) . Up until a few weeks ago, it seemed that we had emerged from the experience and were proceeding with a sense of hope-filled vigor together into new adventures.  One of those adventures was a joyous decision to get married. It was a natural and exciting prospect for us as our journey together has been both  miraculously magical and supremely challenging these past 11 years!

Our wedding which is next Saturday, August 21 is by design, small and intimate. Only our closest friends will join us in the celebration. Even so,  the architectural design of the whole celebration required some thought and collaboration – both of which we joyously dove into. There developed this euphoric awareness that we were actually to be married! – that we were to declare before our friends and in the essence of Rumi’s ethereal Divine love perspectives our forever comittment to each other.  The plans followed the traditional focus that became somewhat overwhelming at times – invitations, venue, dinner, rings, clothing, crafting of the ceremony.  It seemed that our most cherished dreams were coming true – and the joy and playfulness of the archetype of Marriage had completely enfolded us in its perfection and fulfillment.

Then Terry,  who was immersed in personal growth and healing work, somehow managed to unleash the hounds of hell into the mix….the healing processes in which he was engaged came together in the perfect storm of intense release and detox….leaving him horizontal with pain and fatigue and casting doubt on the fulfillment of our long-held dream to be wed. In an attempt to avert disaster, we retraced the protocols of our previous years’ healing and added a few new ones for good measure but the debilitating condition held fast. We were plunged into a morass of disappointment,  bewilderment about the significance of  the timing and its deja vu feel  as well as confusion about the deeper message of this unwelcome guest in our midst. Continue reading

The Gulf Oil Spill – A Prayer for Healing

The Gulf of Mexico under siege

As images of oil-soaked wildlife and dead dolphins and birds  from the Gulf oil spill monopolize the media, it is hard to articulate the cascade of emotions that flow into consciousness –  first it is shock and horror, then incredulity that such a disaster could happen in America in the 21st century, then shame at being part of the species who visited this apocalypse on the innocent; then it seems to settle into a deep inexpressible heart sadness that the unimaginable and unspeakably ugly unfolding of this nightmare managed to survive into the light of day and become reality.  There is just no way to get around its presence….and its long-term life-altering effects…for the people who depend on the bounty of the Gulf, for the wildlife who are threatened and for a planet once again under siege.

As a young child, I remember the terrifying experience of my father dying suddenly. I would often go to sleep at night with the distinct impression that I had somehow slipped into some parallel universe and that when I next opened my eyes I would have returned to an upright world where my father was still alive and the other experience was simply a bad dream.  As I found out time and again, that was not the case – reality was reality and no matter how much I wanted it to be different, it never was….eventually I learned to deal with it and although my life was irretrievably altered, the new norm simply became my life.  That is how it seems the death of a pristine ecosystem will affect this nation and we cannot deny it.

My Florida Playground

I found myself in tears this morning as witness to the devastation that was about to slink its slimy way into the backyard of my Florida playground. I no longer live there -at least not in my physical and present incarnation- but I discovered that in my memory I always believed it to be a place that  would never change and would always be there. Even if I never physically returned to the serenity of a walk along Venice Beach, the antics of the manatees at Homosassa Springs, the splendor of the setting sun over St. Pete Beach as I sat with a close friend watching for the ‘green flash’. Even if I never again flew from the west coast  ‘armpit’ to Key West and witnessed with awe the beauty of this part of the world from the air. Even if I never again flew to the Gulf out-islands with the group of women pilots met for our monthly lunches …..I always believed it would all still be there – alive and well to antiquity – never needing my presence to continue….but a place to which I could return at will.

It felt like a cherished connection to my past was being destroyed simultaneously with the demise of the fragile ecosystem – change had visited a part of my past and altered it forever – it wasn’t just a bad dream, it was real and there was nothing I could do about it but be heart-broken. As I sat with the sadness, unable to truly grasp the depth of the emotion that had gripped my soul, I began to see that this was one of the ‘letting go’ moments whose time had come. As hard as it was to fathom, the devastation in its finality seemed to represent a cutting with the past – it was as if the silent images of death and destruction were showing me on a personal level the death of my connection to that life for me.

The responsibility of stewardship

Like the bubble of denial within which we seem to have been living as a nation -ie- believing that such a disaster as just happened never would, that our regulators were taking their responsibilities seriously – I too had mistaken the serene and comforting memories to be an immutable, eternal truth.  As I worked through that realization, it became clear how necessary  it is to fully attend t0 present time, out of the fantasy bubble of what was and become available to live fully and choicefully NOW.  A piece of my soul was left behind in that idyllic world and it has now been retrieved.  Perhaps the possibility exists for us as a nation to do the same.  We have left part of our soul in the mistaken belief bubble of our delusional ‘perfect’ world and this disaster is perhaps the wake-up call  in all areas of our existence.  We can no longer pretend that we are simply experiencing a nightmarish ‘rough patch’ in our history and soon will wake up from this bad dream to find all is restored. That is not and never will be a possibility. We cannot allow ourselves to escape into a phantasmagorical world where all is always well.   The only course of action is to begin anew, altered and with new resolve to live differently – renewable energy, sustainable awareness – into ecological maturity as responsible stewards of this earth upon which we live…time to change.

A prayer for healing in the Gulf

I never realized how much I had available to me in those days of play and enjoyment in Florida…never really appreciated how many times I had the opportunity to imbibe the fruits of the natural world – it was all so easily available that I took it for granted believing it would always be there in the same pristine way I had experienced it —– how wrong I was!  As time is bendable, I choose to overlay my gratitude today on the torn ecology of the Gulf as a solemn prayer for its healing….as with any change – return to stasis is not possible. Perhaps in this case it is a good thing – perhaps this is the first pained step onto a new path toward appreciation for our lives in partnership with nature rather in dominance of it…perhaps in the horrific images and shattered lives to which we are witness today, we will retrieve our truth and heal our souls as we heal this devastation.

A quote from Mohandas K. Gandhi:  “To forget how to dig the earth and to tend the soil is to forget ourselves.”

Health Care Reform -Reforming the Nature of Who We Are

Health Care Reform wars

It is easy to get pretty ‘whigged out’ about some of the rhetoric flying in the media these days. It seems as if there are segments of the population of America who have reverted to their instinctual natures and are living from some encrypted prehistoric guidance system that bears no resemblance to civility or our supposed evolutionary progress of the past few thousand years. The focus of their derision is, of course, the hotly controversial issue of Health Care Reform. At its most superficial, it is ‘anti-government interventionist who wants no federal or state interference and resists any change to the status quo’ pitted against ‘those who believe that health care is a right of citizenship and should be extended to everyone..something which only the government can mandate. On a deeper level, it belies more esoteric principles of  self-interest versus compassion for the needs of others.

As a country, the Health Care Reform process has led us down a twisted and tormented path that has unleashed fear of epic proportions, has torn away any semblance of unity and common ground for mutual respect, has emerged some of the most twisted logic, obstructionist behavior and outrageous lies and has left most of the population aghast at the whole spectacle. In the midst of the furor, it might be difficult to imagine  a possible outcome of all this venom. When we observe the health care debates over the past year we realize how confrontational and disconnected we have become. When we add to that the jagged landscape of the political arena and the protests, anger and global issues,  it is less of a stretch to entertain that we are indeed on the highway to hell!   than it is to try to pull something positive out of this morass.

Indeed, discussions around our kitchen table often turn to sharing the sadness at how we have traded  our potential for deep compassion towards each other and soul awareness of our singular human endeavor on this planet, for a greedy,  fear-based fortressing of ourselves against anyone who would even try to take the possessions we have amassed. Accompanying this we have developed a distrust of all but our ‘like-brethren’.  If nothing else, we are being awakened to who we are through the back-door – by encountering the stark and shocking truth of who we have become as a consequence of our fears.

If one ascribes to the belief that there is wisdom in all things,  what are we being  asked to uncover in this experience?

We are shifting in spite of ourselves and it is toward an expansive truth about wellness

If we look underneath the surface of these eruptive times, there is a movement afoot that sits just out of view. Like seeds germinating in winter, it sleeps just out of sight gathering energy and growing, waiting for the optimum time to poke through into consciousness – to grow into a mature force that aligns with the transformative truth that vectors us toward a new paradigm of existence.  Today, there is a general understanding that we are governed not so much by the tangible world we can touch as by the unseen that is the source of what we touch.  That it is time for shifting away from old ways  is clear. We can no longer sustain our unconscious ways and expect this planet to support our ravages forever.  The vehicle of this change has been gathering momentum. It grows stealthily in group discussions. It emerges quietly in leading edge discoveries that suggest we are way more powerful than we have been lead to believe. A not-so-quiet billion dollar industry in alternative health and wellness is the vanguard of this wave of change.  Not fully a citizen of the health care world yet, its  growth is slowed by status quo processes that are more about profit than about well-being for all even though they purport to support health. Nonetheless, it grows as a consequence of the new direction we are guided toward.

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When CHANGE comes calling…..


“The only thing certain in life is death and taxes…and….”

…. after the experiences of this summer, I would emphatically add “CHANGE” to that list of inevitable events. Over the past few months in addition to our own adventures, we were witness to a myriad of changes in the lives of those we love – death of loved ones,  health emergencies, lost employment, children leaving home for the first time, expanding families as babies arrive in the world, and relocation to facilitate new beginnings . Personally, we were brought up short by health challenges that shifted  attention from our exuberant lifestyle of activity and exploration to a complete focus on wellness. The past five months totally immersed us in discovery of the source of an illness that hit seemingly overnight and has lasted much longer. In a cascade of medical appointments, testings and opinions, we spent the entire time searching for a return path to wellness from the trail of illness we had somehow wandered down. Every dimension of being – physical, emotional, spiritual and quantum – conspired to create a frightening, mysterious chaos into which we entered. The upshot of it all? The chaos created CHANGE – changed capability, changed flexibility,  changed focus, changed attitudes, changed activity and ultimately changed life direction. None of these changes have been easily or linearly navigated nor are they complete. But during this transition, we have glimpsed meaning and perspective and intuitively set up inquiry to excavate answers. It has been the only thing that has kept us going in an otherwise stormy sea of unknowns. It is what has kept us patiently taking one step at a time and letting go of superfluous activities and involvements. The challenges that had plopped themselves on our plate made it impossible to maintain our old way of life.  ….forced CHANGE was upon us and all we could do was respond and continue to navigate the terrain as we encountered it.

The struggle against Change – Our sometimes inelegant journey

It would be ideal to say that our responses were always grace-filled and aware – however, it often took the form of railing against the whole process – anger, frustration, lashing out at ‘so-called’ experts, arguments about next steps,  rebellion against restrictions and the loss of the comfort of a way of life we had created and embraced.  We never let go of our personal responsibility – always searching, inquiring, trying yet another protocol. After many months, at the edge of exhaustion, it became clear that we were called to let go, trust and surrender – an actualized experience of our spiritual journey. My personal recollection of such a moment  happened as I watched a breast cancer victim on TV – it felt like a moment of clarity we were meant to discover. It wasn’t so much what she said, as it was the sense of profound humility she exuded in having been forced to give up to her process of recovery.  I felt so guilty about my whining ways as I witnessed the grace of acceptance before me. In every fibre of my being, I ceased to struggle ‘against’ and began to look more deeply  ‘at’ what was being asked of me and us in this crazy experience. It seemed for Terry also, the quest ended in a moment of profound -giving up…out of ideas, out of steam to continue and out of fight to think his way through the dilemna.  From that point on, things have improved and expanded…new, effective helpers have appeared, plausible solutions  and a meaningful body of new work has been embraced, new strengths and capabilities have emerged. CHANGE has arrived and even though we still sail the treacherous waters of the unknown, we have allowed ourselves to open to trust in  wisdom at work.

Outside the individual experience also lies forced CHANGE  – in the nation

The national crisis in health care reform and the associated ‘public exorcism’ (credit to a friend – Kelly Walker – for that crystaline metaphor)  of fear and loathing that erupted with it provided a mirror that reflected the effects of CHANGE  on a grander scale.   As I observed the extreme behavior, I discovered some of my own reactionary resistance to change – the righteous indignation and anger that someone upset my reality was clearly plastered on the screen before me every night on evening news – screaming, ranting folk who underneath their bravado were simply scared about the forced CHANGE that national circumstances had delivered to their door. The challenge became intensely personal and they did not like it one bit nor did they have any tools with which to develop perspective.  With every ounce of their being, they struggled and railed against the government, their President, and any perceived suggestion of change to their known way of life.  As we discovered in our summer of transformation, the ‘return to normal’ they sought is impossible.

Forced CHANGE is the harbinger of new pathways

Forced CHANGE is the harbinger of new pathways – pathways that can only be traversed when we cease to struggle and begin to inquire, explore and open to the deepest faith that it is time for the emergence of something beyond a return to the old ways of living  – ways that have given us a planet that is exhausted and incapable of responding to our petulant, consuming demands – Just as we personally were invited to hear something different and respond to a seemingly uninvited experience throughout this summer, perhaps the entire population of this planet is being offered a golden opportunity to find deeper respect for each other and expanded consciousness in the challenge of CHANGE – perhaps it isn’t ‘forced’ at all – at the quantum level, we never cease to evolve and co-create our growth. Whether we are conscious of it or not,  CHANGE is an inevitable and necessary side-effect of being human. Without change, chaos and disruption – a place where we often feel disconnected from the divine and our own soul- we would not be inspired to seek unity with our divinity. It is our Hero’s Journey  that allows us to traverse an ever-expanding field of consciousness and capability.

Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death….Anais Nin

When CHANGE comes knocking on your door – know that you are built to survive and to thrive on it -with each profound challenge, we contribute to yet another discovery and emerge confidence – a confidence that invites trust, surrender, listening and understanding that we are part of a tapestry that is in constant re-construction – each time becoming more aware, beautiful and powerful -more connected to your soul.

A powerful underscore – watch this :