When I was in the second grade, my family moved from a small town to a larger city . Of course, this meant leaving familiar surroundings and embracing a new home, school and friends which, for a 7 year old was a lot of change. The ‘new’ school was ‘new’ only to me. Its dingy gray exterior and boxy construction presented an aged, uninviting vision that left an unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach and did nothing to generate enthusiasm or inspiration. I arrived my first day at the new edifice of learning after a long walk of 2 miles to get there and immediately felt unhappy, vulnerable and alone. Soon after this new twist in my life against which I railed, I began to create fantasies of the heroes from my favorite TV show, Whirlybirds, landing in the schoolyard with their Bell 47 helicopter to rescue me. I envisioned the surprise and envy on the faces of my fellow ‘inmates’ as I was swooped up to freedom by my rescuers and whisked away to a place where everything I could ever want was available at my mere asking for it. I felt with delicious joy the feeling of being so special as to be chosen by them to be taken into their care and custody. Every time I ran that movie in my imagination, secure, happy, at peace feelings flooded my otherwise tortured and powerless existence. Truth is, as I, the 7 yr old, discovered – nobody was coming to save me and all the magical thinking in the world would not shift my sense of insecurity or change my circumstances. Whirlybirds’ pilots were actors and there was no chance in hell that my fairy tale would ever materialize – but it never stopped me from day-dreaming about the possibility.
Like my 7 yr old imaginings, it occurred to me that, as individuals in today’s troubled America, we are looking to someone else to satisfy our needs and longings and save us from our untenable life situations. We seem to be incapable of seeing life as within our power to do something about. Instead, we unconsciously give away our power to others and expect them to provide the external life circumstances that create a sense of safety and well-being for us. Case in point – the proclamations of portions of the populace that we didn’t get the change we were looking for. A mere 18 months into this current presidency there is an outcry from the disenfranchised to change yet again, the flavor of the Washington DC government. It seems as if our collective ‘wanting, wishing or fear-driven child’ personae has been ignited and the satisfaction and successes must be both immediate, complete and individually recognizable….NOW! The external source of this indulgence is partially manipulated from those out of power. More importantly, the inner cause, as we know from Voice Dialogue, comes from the voice of our repressed child parts. The imperative for a more balanced existence invites us to wise up to this aspect of us, and quiet the mechanism that operates in opposition to our ability to accept personal responsibility for our emotional, mental and physical well-being. but, how can this be done when the pervasive sentiment teaches us to be afraid and to feel vulnerable?
First discover the cause – How did we get here? It’s an inside job!!!!
Our view of the world is formed from the inside out not the other way around. From our early years of life when uncomfortable or abusive things happened to us such as starting kindergarten or Sunday school, watching Mom and Dad argue, experiencing illness or other tragic events in our families, struggling to garner love in a dysfunctional home environment, we made crazy meaning of what was happening to us so we could feel safe and assure our survival. At that tender age, we had few sophisticated tools to use and it often came down to the silencing our intuitive emotional reactions in order to stay safe and feel loved. Doing the bidding of the adults in our life no matter how much it went against what our authenticity wanted to do seemed the only pathway to security. Sadly, those suppressive behaviors became our conditioned response to acceptable actions – a belief that we carry unconsciously into our adulthood.
As adults, when we operate from those emotional 7 yr old selves – wishing for rescue, silenced in our authentic desires – we tend to develop parent-child relationships with our spouses, friends, bosses and government that divest us of the responsibility to make conscious choices and decisions for our life circumstances. Instead, we play the blame game – it is someone else’s fault and they need to fix what they did to us. Think about today’s political atmosphere – frightened, people find their power in anger and blame. It is as if the expectation is that the Fairy Godmother must scatter fairy dust over the country and make everything all better! and return things as they were. Of course, the head Godmother lives at the White House – we elected him to take care of us exactly as we want!…we get our old jobs back, get our homes back so we can continue to live as we have…
Filed under: Multidimensional Reality, personal growth, politics, This Physical Reality, voice dialogue | Tagged: coaching, compassion, how to be responsible adult, how to find personal power, how to navigate change in your life, how to survive change, inner child, Michael Brown, political upheaval in America, The Emergent Coach, the Presence Process, the White House, voice dialogue | Leave a comment »
Our Wedding Celebration
Despite my daily protests, Terry was adamant that we follow through on our planned wedding celebration. The day dawned with me ambivalently poised between excitement about our wedding and trepidation about Terry’s ability to navigate the schedule of events and remain upright. A few previous days of experiment with Aleve had provided him relief from the debilitating pain that had been his constant reality for the past three weeks. This offered some confidence that the same regimen the day of our wedding would provide a similar effect. With that bit of ‘ammo’, we both fully entered into the spirit of the day.
Preparations:
Preparations for the afternoon ceremony began with picking up flower arrangements, decorating the chapel, keeping a make-up application appointment, and, finally, donning our official ‘wedding clothes’. With each step, we drew closer to the joy that sat patiently waiting to be released….a joy that had been the foundation of our love and connection from the first day we met. It was the innocent mirth that children possess – happiness that just bubbles up from nowhere and delights in all that life has to offer.
The Ceremony and Celebration – Alternate Universe Experience
As we looked at each other in our transformed selves….it was as if we were transported into an alternate universe….carried in a flow of powerful energy and a most unshakeable gift of pure peace. The message of universal intention and certainty that we were meant to be together was clear. As the wedding ceremony began…the friends who gathered with us readily participated in the indescribable magic of presence, joy, gratitude and the excitement of bearing witness to a long journey having reached a glorious conclusion. As I stood there engaged in the ceremony, I was conscious that I was standing between layers of reality – aware of the journey to this moment, reliving past events in minute snippets, aware of the destiny and complex soul guidance that lead us to each other and this moment, aware of us all as a wavy presence of energy flashing every color of the spectrum, aware of the actual physical celebration masterfully guided by our friend and mentor, J. Tamar Stone -the words, the symbolism, the meaning in the actions. There was not a sense of time passing. There was a pervasive, palpable knowing of an unconditionally loving presence. It was as if a door opened and we were flooded with love that we could neither describe or quantify but we all felt and simply immersed ourselves in its delicious enfoldment. We were heart centered and held in that space, suspended in time and fully awake to the world we had entered…we were fully in the moment and magically embedded in the timeless truth of who we truly are… children of God at play as creators of love and perfection and superlative joy.
Our photographer and friend, Piper Ferguson , masterfully captured the essence of the blessed event with a collection of memorable photos that we visit often which reignites the palpable joy into which we were immersed. In those photos, the moments of peak joy are evident.
Filed under: Multidimensional Reality, quantum field, Spiritual Growth | Tagged: Abraham Maslow, Carl Jung, Eckhart Tolle, God, gratitude, J. Tamar Stone, joy, love, non local experiences, peak experience, Piper Ferguson, present moment, quantum reality, unconditional love, Universe, wedding ceremonies | 1 Comment »
Enlightenment must come little by little – otherwise it would overwhelm
Enlightenment is not imagining figures of light but making the darkness conscious –
Carl Jung
Just when it seemed like everything had finally found its upright position and life was with wheels again, one of them fell off and things appeared to come to a screeching halt. If you have been following our posts, you might recall that life had thrown a wellness challenge at us last year (see When Change Comes Calling post – https://thirdspacechronicles.com/2009/10/13/when-change-comes-calling/) . Up until a few weeks ago, it seemed that we had emerged from the experience and were proceeding with a sense of hope-filled vigor together into new adventures. One of those adventures was a joyous decision to get married. It was a natural and exciting prospect for us as our journey together has been both miraculously magical and supremely challenging these past 11 years!
Our wedding which is next Saturday, August 21 is by design, small and intimate. Only our closest friends will join us in the celebration. Even so, the architectural design of the whole celebration required some thought and collaboration – both of which we joyously dove into. There developed this euphoric awareness that we were actually to be married! – that we were to declare before our friends and in the essence of Rumi’s ethereal Divine love perspectives our forever comittment to each other. The plans followed the traditional focus that became somewhat overwhelming at times – invitations, venue, dinner, rings, clothing, crafting of the ceremony. It seemed that our most cherished dreams were coming true – and the joy and playfulness of the archetype of Marriage had completely enfolded us in its perfection and fulfillment.
Then Terry, who was immersed in personal growth and healing work, somehow managed to unleash the hounds of hell into the mix….the healing processes in which he was engaged came together in the perfect storm of intense release and detox….leaving him horizontal with pain and fatigue and casting doubt on the fulfillment of our long-held dream to be wed. In an attempt to avert disaster, we retraced the protocols of our previous years’ healing and added a few new ones for good measure but the debilitating condition held fast. We were plunged into a morass of disappointment, bewilderment about the significance of the timing and its deja vu feel as well as confusion about the deeper message of this unwelcome guest in our midst. Continue reading
Filed under: Multidimensional Reality, personal growth, Spiritual Growth, This Physical Reality, voice dialogue | Tagged: awakening to our true self, enlightenment, health issues and their meaning, relationship, self awareness, the challenge of living in awareness, voice dialogue, wedding | Leave a comment »
Trust and Unconditional Love – Expressions of our God-ness
We recently visited a Matrix Energetics practitioner as part of our search for answers to a mysterious malady that has been the focus of the past two months. As the health issues originally surfaced when we attended a Matrix Energetics training weekend, we felt that an exploration in this same arena might reveal solution. We got waay more than we hoped for….. More than anything else, we were returned to consciousness – a consciousness that included the truth that we have dominion over our state of well-being because we are intimately connected to the quantum field of all possibility. It was one of those “knock yourself on the head and say ‘I could have had a V8’ ” moments — of course we are both the navigators and experiencers of our path….of course we can shift any field of belief to which we have been subjugated by the limited perspective of others to whom we have given our power and…..of course we are God.
How is it that we more often forget these tiny little facts more than we remember them? How is it we forget to trust in our indestructible connection to our quantum soul? What is it about trust that is so difficult to depend on? Time and again I forget that I have a partner in this physical life with whom I am traveling our trajectory and with whom I share the blessings and challenges of everyday living. I forget to remember that I am not alone as I lay awake in the night digging deep for resources to continue to maintain our established lifestyle…as if I alone am responsible. I forget to remember to trust that support is as close as opening my eyes to all that is before me waiting to be invited to participate. I forget to trust in the bi-directional nature of unconditional love as the foundation upon which my life is built.
Here is a great story to illustrate:
Continue reading
Filed under: Multidimensional Reality, personal growth, quantum field, This Physical Reality | Tagged: happiness, learning to trust, love, peace, personal growth, quantum physics, trust, unconditional love | Leave a comment »
Getting to the Heart of Unconditional Love
One of my favorite “fiction” books is Running From Safety by Richard Bach. The tag-line declares it “an adventure of the spirit”. The back-jacket poses this enticing question: “If the child we were asked us today for the best we learned from living, what would we tell and what would we discover in return?”
The book chronicles the author’s healing journey as an adult through a metaphysical encounter with himself as a child. Richie, his 9 year old child self, emerges from imprisonment within the psyche of the author and through thoughtful and honest dialogue, Richie begins his journey to integration as part of Richard’s present life. It is a sensitively told story of universal experience about our journey to wholeness. As we gather the parts of us we have abandoned at various times in our lives, we begin to live more aware and conscious of all of who we are and to remember that at our core we are both wise and infinitely loving. As Richard unfolds this message, his life transforms. He unravels the knots of restriction that had paralyzed his heart and he exhales into self acceptance, his infinite potential for connection and the safety that comes from trusting the eternal presence of unconditional love.
Activating unconditional love through unconditional giving – the relationship issue
Activating unconditional love in our lives is really a two-step process – letting go of past grievances and making the conscious decision to actively love every experience. In a very powerful handbook, Your Body Speaks Your Mind, author Debbie Shapiro suggests that we have a choice to be thankful and loving always. She indicates that opening our heart to love and allowing love into “every crack and crevice of our lives enables us to take risks and embrace the unknown”. In my opinion, that means always being ready to give and that is where the rubber meets the road in this quest to be unconditionally loving. It asks for selflessness. It requires taking risk. It suggests that if there is a decision to be made between holding back our love or giving it, that we choose for the latter.
The arena where this practice can be most exercised is in relationships – primary, friendships, co-workers, with our children – all relationships. In our culture the perceptions around relationship more often are about ‘ keeping score’, fulfilling a list of how the other person should look, talk, act, and having our personal needs met than it is about true connection and regard for the other. We seem to be so ‘on guard’ for fear of losing something of ourselves in relationship that we forget to give! We often place an inordinate amount of importance on our egoic identity as if loss of that is certain death. Yet if you think about it, giving isn’t giving away parts of ourselves. It is simply honoring our mutual humanity by respecting the needs of the other. Besides, we (the we that really matters and that is our true ‘us’-ness) always was and always will be completely intact. Our soul and vitality cannot be broken. It is in giving that we live active unconditional love. Giving is the hallmark of trust that we won’t break and that we will be taken care of if we follow our heart’s bidding.
The eternal pool of giving – the place of absolute, undisturbed peace and happiness
I recall in meditation one day struggling with this notion of measured love versus walking the path of unconditional love. Past experiences cause a shutting down of our hearts in the false belief of protection against hurt and it is an understandable reaction to loss. Yet this safe way has never seemed the whole answer…it seems more isolating than healing. In that meditation I was ‘handed’ the message that the pool of giving is infinite – we don’t run out of giving – we simply just need to return to it and replenish our giving Selves. The image of that infinite pool of giving stays with me and I return to that pool often. It nourishes me, soothes me and accesses that place of absolute undisturbed peace and happiness. It is my buffer against the judgments and admonishments of the cultural norms that suggest there is a limit to giving and to love – give too much and you lose. …. not so! It is about connecting with the heart of the other’s heart…the place of unconditional love that sees only the light of love and regard that exists there.
I watched a friend lovingly make a full array of delicious food for his daughter’s graduation celebration. He spent the whole evening engaged in his labor of love – that is uncondiitonal love. It is when you ask for nothing in return – love is not confined to a balance sheet. It is not a bank account that eventually is spent to deficit. It is an open space that embraces every opportunity to be a source of giving. Unconditional love is giving without reservation, without expectation, without fear of loss. Does this kind of love have risk – yes – by its very nature love is risk but it is measured against the constant flow of contact with that endless pool of giving we are always connected to…..our happiness and well-being is connected to the amount we give, not the amount we get.
Living today from unconditional love
Again, quoting from Debbie Shapiro’s book – When we open our hearts and give with love…”We do not need to turn our backs on our neighbors because they are a different race or practice a different religion; we can accept the differences while recognizing our shared humanity. In place of fear, see a challenge that can be met with creative awareness. Fear contracts and pushes away; it holds tight and denies change or movement. Love is expansive and all-embracing; it welcomes change as an expression of all life.” Perhaps we all could use more love and acceptance of each other especially in the caustic climate afoot in America today. It is fear at its most destructive!
If you want to understand the true nature of unconditional love, see this movie – Grand Torino. It will make you laugh, cry and understand how it is that opening our heart unconditionally changes everything.
Filed under: Multidimensional Reality, personal growth, This Physical Reality | Tagged: healing, healing the heart, heart, love, peace, unconditional love | 3 Comments »
” YOU’RE GOING TO BURN IN HELL! “
……Those damning words floated into the sleepy sanctity of our condo this morning. The condemnation, uttered with such conviction, was part of a longer ‘sermon’ delivered as the speaker made his way down the street outside our window apparently warning invisible parishioners of the perils of sinful living. This fiery delivery was received in our domain with a wry and humorous comment about the glory of living downtown where all manner of humanity intermingles and shares their particular view of this existence. But it did get me thinking about the conviction of truth from which those words were uttered and it did get me remembering what it felt like to hear those same sentiments as a young child growing up Catholic and wide-eyed with terror at the prospect of being consumed by flames because I did not obey and God was not pleased. Then, it was my first introduction to fear and the concept of Divine retribution. Today, as a rational adult who has reconciled with logic, I realize that a punishing God is an oxymoron. Yet I am still amazed that sentiments like the ones which arrived uninvited in our bedroom this morning are still afoot in our supposedly sophisticated culture. Do we really believe in ‘hell’? Really? Still?
As I pondered the question, I considered how much of our existence is centered around our cellular fear of dying and ‘burning in hell for all eternity’ because we are flawed and at our core, reprehensible. So our fear of annihilation sends us seeking safe harbor from death in any way we can. At the heart of our individual, national and global conflicts is fear in some form. Continue reading
Filed under: Multidimensional Reality, personal growth, This Physical Reality, Uncategorized, voice dialogue | Tagged: awareness, consciousness, Democrats, fear, fundamentalism, hell, nuclear proliferation, past life regression, past lives, reincarnation, religion, Republicans, respecting others, voice dialogue, war | Leave a comment »
I admit it – I am a fierce Denver Nuggets fan. I love watching them play especially this season. They, collectively and individually have matured and become a cohesive team whose persistence and passion are inspiring to watch. Yesterday they played the first game of the second tier of NBA playoffs. And they won a decisive victory over Dallas. One particular scoring caper stands out – JR Smith receives a pass near the basket and back passes to Carmelo Anthony who dunks it — so fast, so precise such a pretty sight to see. It was one of those important ‘in the moment’ opportunities. In order for it to have happened, everyone needed to be right there right now…not off in the ozone of unconsciousness. The potential in that moment was fully realized because presence -that moment- was all there was.
In the latest issue of Spirituality and Health there is an interview with Jill Bolte Talyor, Ph.D., a neuroanatomist and author of MyStroke of Insight. This book was written to recount her incredible eight-year recovery from a stroke that literally shut down the cognitive functions of her left brain. The book is worth the read as it shares some of the most profound insights into the function of our innate connection to Divine Joy. In response to the question ” What sort of techniques would you recommend for turning off the endless loops sometimes found in the left cognitive mind?” she shared this:
“…consciously choose to bring your mind to the present moment. How do you do that? You decide that you’re going to see what your eyes are looking at; you bring your consciousness to the present moment. When you are going up the stairs, you look at the steps, you look at the handrail. Most of us unconsciously climb the steps, can’t even say what the color of the carpet is, if there is a carpet, because we’re somewhere else. Pay attention to the present moment. Bring your mind, bring your ears to the present moment, start savoring the awareness of the information you perceive in the present moment, and let that grow. And it’s like with any circuitry: the more you concentrate on it and experience it, the more it will develop itself.”
How many times have I missed noticing someone as I passed them on the street, or driven by the mountain goats grazing on the mountainside and not seen them, or rummaged through a tool box not finding what wrench was right there before my eyes….this simple concept of looking, paying attention and “seeing what your eyes are looking at” brought into consciousness the deliberate actions needed to embody that ethereal and well utilized directive to be in the present moment. Interesting how you never really get it until it is time!! So from now on I will see what I look at…I will appreciate even more the brilliance of that choreography in the Nuggets game….I will engage all my senses and awareness with every step I take….
When you turn off the internal noise maker by focusing, really focusing on one thing in this present moment, everything opens wide and you get to play in the field of possibility. You also get to experience the unbridled joy that waits to be invited in to your life…I want some of that!!!!
Filed under: Multidimensional Reality, personal growth, Spiritual Growth, This Physical Reality | Tagged: awareness, consciousness, Denver Nuggets, Jill Bolte Taylor, looking, My Stroke of Insight, present moment, seeing, Spirituality and Health magazine | 3 Comments »
Lately, it seems that the mettle is tested in persisting with personal vision and focus –
In addition to being constantly bombarded with information about national struggles of epic proportions that invite fear and panic -the latest being the potential swine flu ‘pandemic’, our national shadow emerges as we learn the heinous details of how we tortured prisoners (we really did torture? America? the beacon of freedom and compassion in the world? We torture? ). And closer to home, illness and incipient illness of loved ones who embody vitality, strength and eternal mentorship surface and remind me that this reality is illusory and time-bound. The view from this burdened perspective also includes a sense being eclipsed by the capabilities of others and thus the perception of struggling to measure up to some obscure standard that has suddenly caused vulnerability. Lately, I find myself aware of the constant call to vigilance in charting a responsible, authentic personal and professional path – one that is free of current dogmatic precepts. And I am painfully aware of the seeming absence of that ubiquitous need for instant gratification (the nurture upon which we were suckled)
….the load feels impossibly complex, unruly, mysterious and self-defeating.
Filed under: Multidimensional Reality, personal growth, This Physical Reality | Tagged: focus, goal accomplishment, inquiry, persistence, personal vision, President Obama, swine flu, torture, trust | 1 Comment »
This morning, as I was performing the daily ablutions required to emerge into public view acceptably, I realized I was bored. I was tired of routine, of negative and fearful rhetoric and the snail’s pace of growth that our business seemed to be taking. Where is that ‘fairy godmother’ when you need her? Where is the magic fairy dust to transform desire into reality? With a deep sigh, I clearly recognized this descent into despair … just in time to also become aware of something else present – a choice. I could go down this well-traveled road like a whiny, rebellious teenager and lament present day circumstances or I could catch a ride on a different train. As I captured awareness before it went unconsciousness – I bought a ticket to somewhere else, hopped the train and began to inhale the new scenery. Oh how the landscape and my attitude changed. Good choice!!
That is how things have been evolving lately – greater and greater perception of the vastness beyond the smallness….I often see the cracked open doorway and more often venture through it into new perspective. Where did this begin? Actually with the post about my winning at gambling – “Save this day for Future Reference”. As I sensed then, something opened up in that moment of success…the letting go into the flow of guidance was an unmistakeable milestone of awareness. Continue reading
Filed under: Multidimensional Reality, personal growth, Spiritual Growth, This Physical Reality, voice dialogue | Tagged: Aware Ego, awareness, Being, change, consciousness, enneagram, fear, First Family, Holy Love, love, Michelle Obama, President Barack Obama, racism, self discovery, transformation, Universe, voice dialogue | 2 Comments »
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