When I was in the second grade, my family moved from a small town to a larger city . Of course, this meant leaving familiar surroundings and embracing a new home, school and friends which, for a 7 year old was a lot of change. The ‘new’ school was ‘new’ only to me. Its dingy gray exterior and boxy construction presented an aged, uninviting vision that left an unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach and did nothing to generate enthusiasm or inspiration.  I arrived my first day at the new edifice of learning after a long walk of 2 miles to get there and immediately felt unhappy, vulnerable and alone. Soon after this new twist in my life against which I railed, I began to create fantasies of the heroes from my favorite TV show, Whirlybirds, landing in the schoolyard with their Bell 47 helicopter to rescue me. I envisioned the surprise and envy on the faces of my fellow ‘inmates’ as I was swooped up to freedom by my rescuers and whisked away to a place where everything I could ever want was available at my mere asking for it. I felt with delicious joy the feeling of being so special as to be chosen by them to be taken into their care and custody. Every time I ran that movie in my imagination, secure, happy, at peace feelings flooded my otherwise tortured and powerless existence. Truth is, as I, the 7 yr old, discovered – nobody  was coming to save me and all the magical thinking in the world would not shift my sense of insecurity or change my circumstances. Whirlybirds’ pilots were actors and there was no chance in hell that my fairy tale would ever materialize – but it never stopped me from day-dreaming about the possibility.

Like my 7 yr old imaginings, it occurred to me that, as individuals in today’s troubled America, we are looking to someone else to satisfy our needs and longings and save us from our untenable life situations. We seem to be incapable of seeing life as within our power to do something about.  Instead, we unconsciously give away our power to others and expect them to provide the external life circumstances that create a sense of safety and well-being for us.  Case in point – the proclamations of portions of the populace that we didn’t get the change we were looking for. A mere 18 months into this current presidency there is an outcry from the disenfranchised  to change yet again, the flavor of the Washington DC government. It seems as if our collective ‘wanting, wishing or fear-driven child’ personae has been ignited and the satisfaction and successes must be both immediate, complete and individually recognizable….NOW!   The external source of this indulgence is partially manipulated from those out of power. More importantly, the inner cause, as we know from Voice Dialogue,  comes from the voice of our repressed child parts.  The imperative for a more balanced existence invites us to wise up to this aspect of us, and quiet the mechanism that operates in opposition to our ability to accept personal responsibility for our emotional, mental and physical well-being.  but, how can this be done when the pervasive sentiment teaches us to be afraid and to feel vulnerable?

First discover the cause – How did we get here? It’s an inside job!!!!

Our view of the world is formed from the inside out not the other way around.  From our early years of life when uncomfortable or abusive things happened to us such as starting kindergarten or Sunday school, watching Mom and Dad argue, experiencing illness or other tragic events in our families, struggling to garner love in a dysfunctional home environment,  we made crazy meaning of what was happening to us so we could feel safe and assure our survival. At that tender age, we had few sophisticated tools to use and it often came down to the silencing  our intuitive emotional reactions  in order to stay safe and feel loved. Doing the bidding of the adults in our life no matter how much it went against what our authenticity wanted to do seemed the only pathway to security. Sadly,  those suppressive behaviors  became our conditioned response to acceptable actions – a belief that we carry unconsciously into our adulthood.

As adults, when we operate from those emotional 7 yr old selves – wishing for rescue, silenced in our authentic desires – we tend to develop parent-child relationships with our spouses, friends, bosses and government that  divest us of the responsibility to make conscious choices and decisions for our life circumstances. Instead, we play the blame game – it is someone else’s fault and they need to fix what they did to us. Think about today’s political atmosphere – frightened, people find their power in anger and blame.  It is as if the expectation is that the Fairy Godmother must scatter fairy dust over the country and make everything all better! and return things as they were.  Of course, the head Godmother lives at the White House – we elected him to take care of us exactly as we want!…we get our old jobs back, get our homes back so we can continue to live as we have…

When that doesn’t happen,  it is usually at this point that we look up a therapist and begin to unravel where we fell off track, what we didn’t see, who we need to blame for our unhappy circumstances. As coaches in our business, we readily appreciate that reconciliation of inner conflict is prime to recovering our footing in the world. But often as we have worked with clients, we have asked ourselves why it is that people never seem to change permanently. Sometimes with this or that technique,  there seems to be some consciousness, some shifts that improve but deep abiding change seemed elusive. But like a rubber band, returning to its original shape after being stretched, the old behaviors and beliefs seem inevitably resilient.  We have used many techniques, trained in many modalities, used coaching techniques, therapeutic techniques, appealed to sheer willpower, tried power of positive thinking to manifest desires – While all of these are accepted practices in the personal growth arena, and all are created to shift awareness, it never seems to stick -so what’s missing?

How do we help others emerge from this trapped place and develop a sense of personal empowerment and directive in their experience….. ?

The Presence Process – Getting Conscious and Emotionally Mature

The Presence Process, a book authored by Michael Brown, presents a self-study process to bring conscious focus from our past into the present moment. Brown’s perspective is the human development  I have shared above.  His process for emotional, physical and mental synergy came from his own painful physical disease which he endured for many years. In searching for release from his pain, he discovered both healing, wholeness and the protocol that is the subject of his book.  His ultimate goal is to allow the spacious abundance of the unencumbered presence of the NOW to inform all we are capable of being…at peace, whole, confident and compassionately, heart motivated.     The Presence Process offers a method to uncover and integrate what has been disowned and transform what is unconscious (the sources of our fear, anger and grief )  bringing the present moment into consciousness and supporting choices made from an emotionally mature view……in short, he suggests that we can, by following this process and digging in to our causal life experiences, bring our full attention and intention into current time.

What the Presence Process can do for your life!

When we grow our emotional selves to match our mental and physical chronology, we can begin to live in the timeless present -unaffected by the past or future. From that platform, we can work effectively with our selves, each other, our government and country to create intelligent solutions to the massive problems  that face us today. Instead of expecting the White House or ‘whirlybirds’ to rescue us, we might engage in true partnership with our legislators and move our country into the 21st century helping to restore the reputation of America as a world leader with equality, compassion and respect for all humanity.

“When we live in time, we spend our days seeking the meaning of life. In contrast, when we are present, we enjoy a life saturated with meaning”…Michael Brown

Personally, I am beginning to realize that I have often relied on the ‘fantasy rescue’ scenario to feel upright in the world. This is changing. I am accepting authentic responsibility for my well-being – waking up to the present moment and discovering that “I am the one I have been waiting for”. It changes everything  and offers the option to let go of that helpless feeling I have felt for so long. I have noticed a shift in my own sense of possibility as I access lost energy to begin to craft the outcomes of my own life – to become my own leader. We can certainly reflect upon and learn from the wisdom of others but the implementation of our own well-being rests completely within the boundaries of our own beings.

If we can transcend the fear that pervades our culture and learn to navigate change with ease, shifting with what is rather than what we wish the reality was, then we learn to ride the wave rather than be overwhelmed by it. It seems a recipe for inner peace that is, in Michael Brown’s words – gentle, consistent, patient, and responsible.

“Personal peace is not given to us by others – it arises through our response to ourselves” Michael Brown, The Presence Process

Filed under: Multidimensional Reality, personal growth, politics, This Physical Reality, voice dialogue | Tagged: coaching, compassion, how to be responsible adult, how to find personal power, how to navigate change in your life, how to survive change, inner child, Michael Brown, political upheaval in America, The Emergent Coach, the Presence Process, the White House, voice dialogue |