I have been hyper-aware of noise lately, especially the noise of my own chatter.  What escapes into verbal conversation is often an overflow of what goes on inside my head.  There, interior to the walls of the physical, resides the ever-present background white noise of my thoughts….constantly directing, editing, worrying, criticizing, judging, inquiring and generally filling any available nook and cranny with some form of molecular activity. It is exhausting. It infringes on my ability to meditate, to be clear and to find the open, free space of silence.

Not unrelated to the internal cacophony, the external world of just plain living is clearly as loud and distracting. In our physical lives, we are bombarded with the constant sensory overload – from the demand to hold conversation with family, friends, students, co-workers, society in general,  to the invasive clamor of televisions, telephones, music, aircraft overhead, the laboring rumble of truck and bus engines, the familiar sounds of construction as we build, fix, maintain our cities and roads, the cries and questions of our children.  This external stimulus of every waking moment rarely stops.  Within this ubiquitous din resides all the enfolded messages that shape our behavior so that we can conform to a societal model of perfection. It creates the frenzied internal and external babble in which we are immersed and it causes unnecessary struggle and stress. It  becomes internalized as the low-level hum of inner chatter we unconsciously adapt to and  saps our energy and focus.

Terry and I have recently begun using a series of  guided meditations designed to support the taking back of the power of our minds from this frenzy. The CD’s series entitled Inner Talk use both subliminal (they list all the messages) messages and binaural beat technology. It was shortly after beginning to use these CDs that I noticed a deep, empty, delicious peace and quiet in my head that was very unfamiliar yet very welcome. That it was noticeable in the midst of a normal night of TV and other activity was even more remarkable and it has stayed with me. I am clearly aware of the quiet that has replaced the sensory overload of my thinking. So what does one do with silence?  Besides listening and actually getting in touch with intuitive messages, the most miraculous part of this rests in the loss of struggle I notice as I progress through a day. The someone looking  over my shoulder grading and measuring the perfection of everything I do no longer exists.  In the silence of this new space,  a sense of trust and confidence has emerged. This new pattern of transformed doubt has landed me solidly in the flow of all things and normalized the exhaustive struggle that had plagued my every move.

It is a definitive feeling of coming home to silence – a place I left behind long ago – a place that evokes  the ‘aaahhhh’ fall-into-grandma’s featherbed’ experience and a place that is consciously present in the midst of all the noise.  As I balance it with the activities of living and prosperity, I find the most profound gratitude for this discovery. Thank you, Terry for being the consummate explorer and adventurer, for being a living truth compass that I trust. As much as it is part of our mutual and individual progression of expansion, it is also a deep expression of universal love and regard….that is a gift I treasure and fully accept.

Filed under: personal growth, Spiritual Growth, This Physical Reality, Uncategorized | Tagged: doubt, finding inner peace, meditation, noise pollution, peace, personal growth, silence, Spiritual Growth, struggle, the noise of living, thoughts, trust | Leave a comment »