This morning, as I was performing the daily ablutions required to emerge into public view acceptably, I realized I was bored. I was tired of routine, of negative and fearful rhetoric and the snail’s pace of growth that our business seemed to be taking. Where is that ‘fairy godmother’ when you need her? Where is the magic fairy dust to transform desire into reality?  With a deep sigh, I clearly recognized this descent into despair … just in time to also become aware of something else present – a choice. I could go down this well-traveled road like a whiny, rebellious teenager and lament present day circumstances or I could catch a ride on a different train.  As I captured awareness before it went unconsciousness – I bought a ticket to somewhere else, hopped the train and began to inhale the new scenery. Oh how the landscape and my attitude changed. Good choice!!

That is how things have been evolving lately – greater and greater perception of the vastness beyond the smallness….I often see the cracked open doorway and more often venture through it into new perspective. Where did this begin? Actually with the post about my winning at gambling – “Save this day for Future Reference”.  As I sensed then, something opened up in that moment of success…the letting go into the flow of guidance was an unmistakeable milestone of awareness. I did not control anything when I chose to sit at that particular machine.  I simply entered into partnership with my internal direction. This feeling has been a guidepost ever since. In truth, it has not always been consciously there but I have often been able to recall the moment and recreate the feeling….that was the choice I made today — I felt the nudge of  awareness that opened a different door – into the  immensity in which we all participate.

As I have attempted to define that undefinable experience of a few weeks ago, I stumbled upon (well, not really stumbled – it is always with a deliberate hand we are guided 🙂 ) a book in my library The Spiritual Dimension of the Enneagram by Sandra Maitri.  I came across this inspiring concept that fits what I am reaching to quantify:

“In the course of working on ourselves, we learn in time that when we stay on the surface of ourselves, which is to say when we are identified with and operating from our outer shell – our personality- we suffer. The more asleep we are to the reality beneath our shells, the less we feel that life is fulfilling, meaningful, and pleasurable. Or, in the language of the enneagram the more fixated we are, the less we partake of the loving nature of reality, for we have lost connection with Holy Love. Our suffering is not the result of being alone or of being in the wrong relationship;  is not because we don’t have enough money or because we have too much of it or because of anything of the sort. Nor is it because our outer surface doesn’t look as pretty as we think it should or because our personality isn’t as pleasant as we think it might be. We suffer because we are living at a distance from our depths – it’s as simple as that. The more our souls are infused with Being, the better we feel and the better life seems to us no matter what our outer circumstances happen to be.”  What I believe I tapped into when I won the jackpot was that quintessential truth, that Holy Love, that Being nature that holds Every-Thing and needs to control No-Thing…

Since President Obama’s inauguration I have found myself alternately celebratory and filled with dread at what is going on in this country. When I connected into the writings quoted above, and made the discovery of Holy Love and its universality, I realized that the dissent and sometimes shocking display of hate and racism is really the fear of change. This outrageous mob mentality is the outer shell that has disconnected from deeply understanding our universal connection to all things.  In the midst of this darkness shines the light of the First Family – aware, awake, unconditionally loving and universally embodying the meaning of Holy Love.

Maybe that is why I feel such emotion when I see crowds wildly cheering President Obama or young students in ecstacy over having encountered a loving, all-embracing hug from Michelle Obama….they individually and collectively invite the heart opening positivity of Holy Love. In those moments, we connect with our deepest truth – that we are Love at our core….that we are nothing but Being! and it feels good and free and alive in the same way it did when I won the jackpot.

The Voice Dialogue moment is inescapable:  On the one hand is a Self (archetypal) cloaked in fear, rebellion and deep disconnect from Essence. On the other side, lies the clearly Spiritual openess of acceptance, love and trust in the basic goodness of all beings. What we are seeing is the emergence of an Aware Ego process that turns down the volume on Fearful Warrior as a Primary Self and invites the presence of Loving, Aware Heart into the mix. Standing between these two opposites is the power of Aware Ego – personified in the actions of President Obama – holding the space for the possibility of Unity, mutual regard and Holy Love….

When that happens, we reach through the cracked open doorway into the vastness of our true nature – all of us, without exception – are loving at our core – It is a fundamental truth that we all know and must connect to in those split second moments when our awareness is awake –those moments before we fall unconscious.  What I have learned along this particular part of my journey – it is never about taking control of anything, it IS about utilizing everything that crosses our path as a way to stay connected with Holy Love….that is winning! 🙂

We are not outside the goodness of Being that is the very fabric of this existence….If we really knew that in our hearts – that we are in fact the fabric itself a fabric imbued with love, beauty and a recognition of our exquisite nature, how might it change the regard we have for each other ?

The Hubble Telescope offers a glimpse of our place in the Universe

Filed under: Multidimensional Reality, personal growth, Spiritual Growth, This Physical Reality, voice dialogue | Tagged: Aware Ego, awareness, Being, change, consciousness, enneagram, fear, First Family, Holy Love, love, Michelle Obama, President Barack Obama, racism, self discovery, transformation, Universe, voice dialogue |