We have been bumping into the word “Narcissistic” a lot lately – and not in a good way. This descriptor is hurled as the most base insult at those who are perceived to be self-absorbed, self-centered and ignoring of others.

To be sure, there is a pathological version of this behavior that is in the psychological disorders bible, the DSM…which is the extreme of what we are talking about. But the basic premise upon which this accusation sources is the very truth that we are ‘all about ourselves’ !
We are survival machines and in the ultimate reality our first responsibility as human beings is to take care of ourselves….actually – be a little Narcissistic!! Think about the times you have been happily engaged in community, connected, able to reach out and ask for help, maybe even speak about some accomplishment that is important to you – how did you feel about yourself? Think about the times you have isolated, disengaged yourself from others and decided to go it alone – how did that feel? When you reach out, when you connect, when you belong and feel accepted – you are often in the place you want to be – a place that you choose (narcissistically) for your sense of self acceptance and self importance….YOU MATTER in those moments. Continue reading →

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